Updated: Jul 23
‘As Parents we are the first and often only line of defence in protecting a child’.
As Parents, Grandparents and Caregivers, we'd give everything to protect our children, laying down our lives in a heart beat. Not because we think its our job, but because our children are Everything! They are precious, they give meaning to our lives. As a parent, we welcome the role of Protector, from the moment our child is conceived to the day we breathe our last, because its such an incredibly important role. A role that 'we parents', take extremely seriously. A role we wouldn't trust to just anybody.
STAND as a workshop exists as a direct result of a betrayed trust of the worse kind. Having witnessed the devastating aftermath of someone close to me, torturing themselves with guilt, shame and regret. Convincing themselves they had failed, not only as a parent, but as a human - because of the actions of someone who, despite appearances, proved to be untrustworthy.
Every parents nightmare.
Watching someone you love and respect punish themselves in this way is heartbreaking. There are no words.
Beating themselves up, over and over, trying to make sense of the senseless. Regretting things they couldn’t possibly have known upfront!
A wonderful, attentive, conscientious, loving, protective parent. The kind of parent that beams with pride whenever their child's name is mentioned. A kind, honest, responsible, intelligent, educated, sensible, beautiful human being, whose life is their Child - broken.
With the benefit of hindsight we say things like;
‘But the Signs where there’!
Signs that remain invisible until after the fact!
Behaviour that has no meaning out of context!
It is impossible to recognise anything you don't know, before you know what you are looking at - and why would you?
“If only I had known”! .... “If only I had seen it”! .... “Why didn’t I know?”, ...... “Why didn’t I see it? .... “If only they had said something”? “Why didn’t they tell me”? "We are best friends, we tell each other everything" .... “If only they'd said " ..."Why didn't they tell me"....“How didn’t I know?”....... "Why am I so stupid!"
Stop it! It is not your fault!
There is a perfectly logical explanation to each of these questions, not a single one, a reflection of a parents ability. It is worth remembering; You weren’t meant to see it - that was the whole point! It is designed that way.
Blaming yourself for anything after the event is a futile and destructive exercise. However, sharing the lessons learned from the experience may prevent it from happening to others in the future.
'Its not what we know but what we do with what we know that counts'
Lets make it count! and I need your help to do that!
Prevention is the key. As Parents, Grandparents and Caregivers, together we can contribute to prevention with the aim of protecting ALL children. and who better to trust with the critical business of protecting children than the people who are the most qualified and care the most Parents!
Show your support for STAND - Parents Are Protectors’ by registering your expression of interest in attending a STAND workshop.
Please register your interest, along with the name of your town to Deborah at firstname.lastname@example.org
STAND is a safeguarding workshop delivered by A Positive Start CIC, addressing Parental Grooming & Coercive Behaviour. Providing vitally important information for Parents and Caregivers, using a familiar, non-offensive topic with the aim of protecting children and families.
A Positive Start CIC is a Not-for-Profit Community Interest Company.(SC581017)I
Thank you for your interest,
Very best wishes to You & Yours,
A member of the Association of Child Protection Professionals